We Five Grumps
by LycoX
Summary: Chris Argent, Sheriff Stilinski, Derek Hale, Ken Yukimura and Jordan Parrish are some fairly grumpy men. Well, Derek just thinks they are ridiculous!


**We Five Grumps**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but what you see here. This was born from a little conversation I had with the awesome Trolling Since Chernobyl on Tumblr. Plus, I needed to write something a bit humorous after a pretty freaking sad chapter I finished a little while ago for Altered Life. Set a bit after season 5.**

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It was a Tuesday, roughly two weeks after things had thankfully settled down and Derek had dropped by to see how everyone was. And he almost nearly hauled ass when he saw just how mopey Scott was thanks to the forced separation between him and Kira thanks to her deal with the Skinwalkers to gain control and balance with her Foxside. But Braeden had put her foot down on his hauling ass and Scott had even reminded him that he had once claimed they were as brothers and that it was his duty as a big brother to be there for him in his time of need. Especially when Stiles was too busy sucking up to Malia for being a dumbass and had no desire to be around mopey Scott after nearly going nuts back around when Scott and Allison had broken up. It was a road not to be traveled down again in the formerly possessed boy's opinion! Once Derek was free of mopey Scott as his little 'brother' had to head to work, he ended up meeting with Chris, the Sheriff, Mr. Yukimura, and Deputy Parrish at a bar. Where apparently the four were hiding out for whatever reason he didn't get at the time. And soon regretted asking why they were even there.

As apparently, three of the four had gotten on the wrong side of several women in their lives and Chris just had the luck to be at the bar when they had arrived. For the Sheriff, he was hiding from Natalie Martin after failing to agree with her on curtain colors for his house's living room. As the woman had felt the place needed a bit of brightening up since she was starting to come around more often now that they were dating. Which had been one Hell of a surprise for the former Alpha! For a short time, he wondered how pre-Malia Stiles would have handled that particular situation but quickly pushed that thought away since he really didn't want to end up thinking too much about the kid's over the top reactions he no doubt would have had. Mr. Yukimura was there cause ever since Mrs. Yukimura had found out that he was the reason Kira had gone to speak with the Skinwalkers again and get her sword back, she had been none too happy with him. To the point he had been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks and it was doing little good for his back. Not that his wife seemed to care all that much!

As she felt it was something he deserved for encouraging their daughter to seek out three women who were a touch more intimidating then what she could be! And then end up stuck with them for an undetermined amount of time! Parrish was there cause he was trying to avoid Lydia, whom was pissed as Hell with him after finding out he'd gone out on a date with some girl he met in the greater Beacon Hills area while shopping one day. Making him have to point out that while she's 18, she's still in high school and it really wouldn't be appropriate. No matter how much her mom seemed to like him. Needless to say, Lydia was none too happy with him over that whole thing and had vowed to make his life a living Hell anytime she saw him until he gave in to her. "And then, she used her scream to blow out every window in my house! Even the mirrors!"

"That explains Clark's smirk after she got back from checking that noise complaint out." Remarked the Sheriff in realization.

Parrish sighed with a nod. "Yeah, she's really not letting me live that down."

Ken lowered his head with a groan. "At least you are not being forced to sleep on a couch." Muttered the man despondently.

"You're all starting to make me wish that Victoria and Allison were still alive just to have those kinds of problems." Spoke up Chris a bit depressedly and then took a long drink from his bottle of alcohol.

"I'm starting to wish I had stayed in New York, waiting for Braeden to get back." Grumbled Derek with a shake of the head.

Stilinski clapped him on the back. "Ah, come on. You need to be around guys that aren't teenagers. And who better then us?"

"Ones that aren't moaning about troubles with women." Replied the former Alpha matter of factly.

Chris looked at him for a moment. "Are you telling me, well us, that you haven't done anything to make Braeden mad lately?"

"Nope. Then again, she's been here the past few weeks so that's kinda been an easy thing to pull off." Replied the dark haired man smugly.

A moan came from Ken. "Just you wait, son. Soon, something will happen, something you think won't be all that big, something that you think is you possibly being helpful, and it'll turn out to be a big thing and you'll be on the couch cause you apparently didn't think things through enough. Wondering how it came down to that point and when, if ever, you'll be allowed back into your bed with the love of your life."

"Victoria on occasion made me sleep on the couch for a whole month." Spoke up Chris with fond longingness in his voice.

"You guys think Lydia would make me sleep in the cruiser with no windows?"

Ken raised his head up and looked at Chris and the Sheriff and they all started to think about it while Derek rolled his eyes. A short time later would see the Sheriff giving the man an answer. "Something tells me that if you pissed her off enough, she probably would. Why ya think my son tries not to get on her bad side?"

Which for his son, that was some seriously smart thinking for a teenager who ran into dangerous situations on a near regular basis without thinking too much about it. Parrish got a look on his face and then took a long drink from his bottle of Jack Daniels. "Great, something to look forward to."

"You guys are pathetic. I could understand if you were depressed about losing nearly every family member of yours in a fire like mine. But this? Come on!" Groused Derek grumpily as he chugged down some Whiskey.

"Well, I have lost nearly every family member of mine to hunting Werewolves. And yet, Gerard is still around while Kate's a Werejaguar. So I try not to think about it too much."

"I got set on fire in a cruiser once and before that, I got blown up while serving in the army."

"My wife is a 900 year old Kitsune who is beyond angry with me right now and knows many ways to make me suffer."

"My son is Stiles."

The four looked at the Sheriff for a moment. "You win." They all said in unison.

All five then slammed down their empty glasses on the counter and asked for more from the bartender. And while they waited, Derek still thought they were all pathetic cause of their issues with the women in their life. Even saying as much and making the others snort. "You lived with Laura after the fire happened, right?" Asked Chris after taking a drink from his new bottle of alcohol.

"Yeah, I did. What about it?"

"And never, not once, did you make her so mad you ended up on thin ice with her?"

Derek thought about it and then grimaced as he recalled a time or two where that happened. Making the Hunter smirk in victory. "To the women who've played a special part in our lives." Called out Stilinski with his bottle in the air.

"Here here." Called out the other four and clinked their bottles with his.

Okay, so maybe he still thought the four were pathetic, but maybe not nearly as much anymore. Of course, a week later Derek would find himself back in the same bar grumbling his head off to his new found friends about how he'd unintentionally angered Braeden and the four giving him sympathetic looks. Even mocking him a little as well just to return the favor since misery loved company and all! But, at least he was in good company! Naturally, they, along with Henry Tate, Deaton, and Stiles would all be in the proverbial dog house courtesy of Melissa following Scott's 19th birthday that saw him getting smashed thanks to a little help from the good Vet. Which, earning her wrath as they realized, was a far more horrible thing to end up dealing with then any other woman's. And all because she was a very loving mother who was fiercely protective of her son after all he'd been through! Stiles' big mouth had also been a big factor in their getting in serious trouble thanks to him thinking that Melissa was over reacting.

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 **Author's Notes: Short, silly, and probably somewhere in the nonsensical range? Yes, probably so. BUT! At least it was amusing in some way right?**


End file.
